Hoffer wrote: “We associate brittleness and vulnerability with those we love, while we endow those we hate with strength and indestructibility.” What is Creator’s perspective?

Here the very descriptions being given are the key to understanding this complex dynamic that has in truth a simple basis. The typical somewhat troubled person will frequently experience disappointment from those around them, including their loved ones. The giving and receiving of unconditional love is a great challenge for most, but ironically, that is what all yearn for, they want to be loved completely and totally and unreservedly with endless forbearance and forgiveness of their own faults and failings because that would seem to represent true acceptance if unconditional love is being offered. This allows a person to set aside, at least with respect to that fantasy of perfection in a friend or life partner, their own inner fear about inadequacy in perceiving there is a gap within themselves between who they would like to be and regarded by others and who they fear they truly are, warts and all. By the same token, an opponent, someone who has the upper hand, greater power and control typically, are viewed with suspicion and resentment, and often the assumption is made they are superior, and so those traits of strength and indestructibility may well be assumed in someone competing with them or in a higher position of authority and power and control over them. In a practical sense, that might be true but it is a distorted way to think of the world and to see others in terms of a kind of power hierarchy and a struggle for control of things—that is a meager existence, to be sure, when one is in a kind of combat not able to count on others for friendship and support, or in an enemy with at least fair and evenhanded treatment, letting the chips fall where they may. Because people are all different, between any two individuals, one will have things the other does not and vice versa, but in a given setting, depending on the circumstances where one person has more of the qualities, strengths, skills, and abilities they can bring to bear successfully in a competitive situation, all other things being equal, they will win out over someone less well-equipped—that is simply the way things always are, given that no two people are identical. So the idea one has to compete and that there will always be a winner and a loser is a false notion in reality because one is always comparing an apple with an orange. So it might be a wonderful apple with the greatest size, brilliance of color, flawless perfection, and a perfect state of ripeness, but to one who is looking for oranges is simply unneeded. So everything is relative, and to hang one’s hat and future on competing with others in order to accept themselves and have a sense of self-worth is engaging in a kind of folly to begin with. So we would say any kind of distortion of thinking will not serve the person and will lead to problems. One’s view of the world will always start with the view of themselves they hold within, because that is the measuring tool always in play for everyone going out and about and encountering others, and engaging with life. It is those with inner strength who feel comfortable within their own skin, see value in themselves, and feel confident of who they are, who can fit in easily with others, and often work seamlessly as a group member or team member even under difficult circumstances where there might be a competitive environment with much at stake, including rewards and punishment for the successful and the failures, respectively. It is a test, in fact, of character, how one does in such a setting. Trying to be what you are not is never served by trying to take that away from others who seem to have more of what you need—it will always backfire.