While this is a worthwhile goal as it is always best to be healthy and untroubled on one’s own without any medical adjunct for reasons of long-term safety if nothing else, there is a time and place for medication and that is when people are in a high degree of distress because of the emotional storm going on inside them. You have ample justification for inner anguish and while it is all focused on the past and need not be a present concern at all, this is not how the mind works, it focuses largely on the past because that is its reference always about what to expect in the future. It is much better at seeing the past than future and must extrapolate and consider possible reoccurrence of difficulties of all kinds, so past trauma will weigh quite heavily on the being. This is a normal aspect of mental functioning. Anything that serves to dampen the inner torment can be a blessing and need not be considered a weakness or a moral failing. So we do not consider this the most important yardstick of progress or the most important goal with regard to your healing progress. You are on track in any case and it will simply need more time.