DWQA QuestionsCategory: Divine GuidanceA father asks: “We did book a therapy session with a renowned psychiatrist who deals with children. Does Creator think it will be productive to see this person for my daughter and our family to also help her deal with a lot of her underlying problems even after you clear her trauma?” What can we tell him?
Nicola Staff asked 3 years ago
We need to be scrupulous in not leading people with advice too directly, because then we are running their lives, so this is a situation where they need to make the decision based on all they are hearing and understanding, now that we have commented on what is happening for her. There are always potential risks in dealing with mainstream practitioners because their perspectives will be based solely on what science has decided is useful and a valid description of whatever phenomenon is germane to a person’s problems. Science is woefully inadequate to describe the world in any great detail that is meaningful and is also heavily constrained to limit its reach. So an accurate and incisive delving into the workings of the mind is prevented by the interlopers to a significant extent, as they limit every sphere of human inquiry, especially those things involving pioneering knowledge and new avenues that could help human growth and betterment. That said, therapists have a useful place and can be a useful adjunct for people in coming to grips with their lives and the difficulties they might be facing. The key here we would say is: "How much is the daughter truly struggling, or is it the parents who are struggling because they are reacting emotionally to inner disquiet about what the daughter is experiencing and whether harm will come, and whether there is something urgently needed from them to help save the daughter from going down the wrong path, and so on?" We are optimistic things will work out for her but that’s contingent on many variables, including whether an outside person (or persons) interferes too much with her growth and reinforces inner doubts and fears in some way inadvertently and makes things worse in some respect, or whether she will be given loving support across the board and allowed to work things out as she goes along and does not have challenge to her self-image and self-confidence that is too great to handle in a healthy way. A therapist who is supportive and encouraging and understanding in a true sense, without being judgmental and attempting to exert an inappropriate influence on things to obtain a particular outcome that is believed to be "normal," could be helpful in almost any circumstance. The question is: "What will be the mindset? What will be the avenue taken and the kind of interaction, and potentially, manipulation that might unfold?" Again, we cannot weigh in here with specifics that would cause one decision or another but are simply talking in general about the nature of the issues involved in making a decision like this for a loved one. But we can tell you, many times sending someone, and especially a young impressionable child, to a psychiatrist can be traumatic for them and cause inner doubts and inner fears because it might be stigmatizing them and this is especially so when they render a diagnosis that carves it in stone, that suddenly the person is abnormal and has a mental disorder of some kind, and even though it’s not described that way, may well be the take-home message for someone who is unsophisticated and vulnerable. So this is a delicate matter and we would suggest giving it a lot of thought and trusting your daughter to give you clues about where she is heading and to what extent she truly needs outside help in this way, and keeping an ear to the ground, so to speak, and open communication so you have a sense of what might be transpiring with such an undertaking. But this can’t be guaranteed because sometimes children will automatically arrange privacy around what they do with a therapist for a variety of reasons, so the parent may never know there are things going on that might be very disturbing and even inappropriate, but the child will not know to convey that and will be trying to simply be cooperative. But especially when they’re uncomfortable, they may feel vulnerable and embarrassed or even ashamed if they have to admit their discomfort, because they will blame themselves all too often and so may never signal that it’s possible that actual harm is being done as opposed to helping. So this is not a prediction, this is simply a general discussion of things to be watchful about and to realize that just because someone is a professional with credentials does not mean they are all-knowing and are truly the best resource to count on. The world is full of things that are ambiguous and highly uncertain, and the arena of human thought and feeling is as complex as anything else and has many uncertainties and complications in orchestrating an intervention, so you must simply search your heart and do what you think is highest and best.