His comments to you about this not truly being under his control are largely accurate. It is not that control is impossible, it is that he is impelled to do this and simply lacks the inner strength to oppose seemingly his own choice and desire to indulge himself in this way. This is a set-up and becomes a karmic set-up as well, to have a preoccupation with a kind of sexual fetish. When the sexual impulse is channeled into a narrow outlet that is harmless, that is usually described as something that has not hurt an outside individual as in the case of molesting a child or exposing oneself in public for sexual gratification, but what is done in privacy is felt to be off-limits and a person’s own business. But within a marital relationship, where there is great sensitivity on the part of both partners regarding feelings and expectations of loving support, loyalty, and the need for trust as a foundation to keep the love strong and happiness intact, anything that threatens the relationship by seeming to reflect a weakness in the pact agreed to, can grow in the mind to be eventually a deal-breaker and lead to the breakup of the marriage.
This is always unfortunate because a preoccupation with a sexual focus of this kind is truly a shallow endeavor. It is never about love, it is always about lust, and when sexual feelings through habit become associated with a trivial exercise with things like pornography as a stand-in for a sexual partner, it becomes all too easy for that to become a deeply rooted habit, to the extent that the real life person is not always an acceptable substitute because that takes more work. It is, in some ways, less enticing and less rewarding because the whole person must be taken into consideration. And when there are other aspects that are unrelated to sex, the history of tension, disagreement, any discord, as well as the ups and downs of life where you see your love partner in many varied roles, not all of which are appealing with respect to seeing them as an attractive and engaging love object of desire, it can be harder to kindle the same flame with actual live sex in comparison to the porn experience. That can be accessed with endless variety, at least within that genre of options, and lacks any other entanglements. It is a passive engagement and the players will not talk back to the seeker of gratification, and there is no other past history that can trigger emotions that might be incompatible with love feelings in the moment, and detract from the level of passion that can be reached when you come together with your partner. So all of these factors are in play when there is a long, well-entrenched habit of this kind.
We can tell you that the dynamics here are almost entirely due to spirit meddler possession. They are simply using his hormonal drive as a point of vulnerability to ramp things up, to have frequent sexual gratification however he can arrange it, because this will serve the onboard spirits with a burst of incoming life force energy that is always conveyed by the divine realm when people are having sex. So in a sense, that is the true perversion here, not that he is capable of arousing himself visually by watching others in action in pornographic material even though it is once removed from him in reality. That is being perverted by the onboard spirits to make him a kind of slave, to seek sexual release at frequent intervals because it serves them. To be sure, the hormonal drive can be very, very, strong but the choice in how to discharge the buildup of tension is truly in the hands of the individual. It could just as readily be focusing on fantasies about the spouse to obtain a sexual release and not pornographic material, but not burdening the spouse unduly with sexual encounters that are too frequent to be handled comfortably.
So the answer here is first of all to do a clearing of these dark spirit attachments, and then to do karmic repair for some links to prior lifetime experiences where sexual relationships were unavailable and there needed to be other outlets. So this is simply a continuation of a kind of habit as a potential that has been reawakened by the spirit meddlers directly from the akashic records, and using that as a kind of switch to trigger the impulse within the husband to indulge himself. And this happens again and again to keep the energy coming. Because this is learned behavior and now a kind of habit, there will need to be a refocusing of attention on the wife to, in effect, unlearn the prior way of getting gratification, and looking for new ways to gratify the self through close proximity with the spouse, and focusing on that engagement with all of the sensory elements and, in effect, cultivate a new kind of focus and preoccupation with the wife’s body. This may take some time, but is quite doable and in the end will be tremendously rewarding to both parties because it will be not only more real, but reinforced energetically in a very real way, and that aspect is completely absent when indulging in pornography because virtually nothing comes from another party energetically, it is only going solo, with the person focusing on the fantasy material, creating an experience within the mind that is in actuality, a very, very, poor substitute for a lifeblood partner engaged in the ultimate of joyous intimacy.
When people are unable to fully experience that full sexual expression it is a problem and a dilemma for them even if they do not realize this. So what we are saying is not that we wish to point fingers and criticize the husband here, but rather the opposite, to be sympathetic in knowing he is settling for second best here when there is no real need for that to happen. If he trains himself to focus on his wife and develop strong associations with gratification from intimate encounters with her, as a flesh and blood person with feelings, and the energy of her being, and the expression of her soul engaging with him, he will grow to feel the richness that represents, and the depth of the gratification from the engagement will begin to overshadow the old habits. And at some point, they will lose much of their appeal because they are superficial.