One way to think of this seeming inconsistency, that being faulty, inadequate, suffering, and dependent on others perhaps is not their fault but someone else’s, is the extent to which this is a logical perspective given that the people in this quandary are not truly choosing it for themselves, it is being done to them through manipulations of many kinds by the interlopers, directly or indirectly. Much of humanity is corrupted to act in dark ways, to pit people against one another as warring factions. This is why so much of life is set up as a contest where you compete against your peers in a classroom for grades given by an authoritarian teacher who may well be your nemesis if they take a dislike to you and hold you up to ridicule and humiliation in front of your peers to make you a scapegoat. Deep inside, all realize they are being treated unfairly, that’s where this feeling comes from of entitlement, in a sense, that something beyond the self is to blame for their dilemma. There is a basic truth here in most cases, that people are not seeing the whole picture and are clueless about cause and effect. They only see an end product of a series of manipulations and the consequences of many blind spots in thinking and awareness, and a faulty culture that rewards people at the top at the expense of others who are in a lower part of the hierarchy.
When everything in life is set up as a contest, there have to be as many losers as winners, and with so many contests ongoing in all activities one engages with, there will always be many situations where you are a loser and someone else the winner, even if you excel in one arena. This is a classic plotline for many comedies where the big boss in a corporation can act arbitrarily and make everyone jump to their tune and work furiously, in fear of their boss. But when that individual goes home, they may be scorned by their spouse and belittled with much criticism and hostility. Or they may have no spouse at all from finding love relationships too great a challenge to be initiated and maintained successfully, because they have within themselves hidden flaws and limitations from being traumatized in various ways, including the karmic legacy which might be stirring up a great deal of inner conflict and many obstacles to be a well-rounded person.
To be sure, there are many selfish individuals who are essentially on a spectrum of narcissism, and their self-involvement and lack of sensitivity for others will often make them demanding and judgmental, quick to criticize others and view themselves as superior and deserving of special consideration, and so will expect to be given special treatment and will be triggered when they don’t get it and may well fly into an extreme rage and even become dangerous at the extreme. Very, very few people have any clear insight at all about the origins of their own thoughts and feelings and they will almost certainly be blind to the deeper layers and deeper levels contributing to inner conflict that will make life very complicated and difficult much of the time.